werites | it's been x days since takasen

[ taka, on the other hand, went the other extreme as he more or less swore off dating.

he felt like he was proven right in a sense, that deepening your bonds with others was a waste and would only lead to hurt. except he didn't want to be right about this. ironically, apparently heartbreak really is great fuel for music. he joined a band. he helped the student council. he did absolutely anything he could to fill the spaces that senri once occupied, because every time he walked anywhere in this city, from the convenience store to the school to even his bed, he was reminded of senri nito.

when senri creeps in, taka is asleep on the couch. again. he stopped trying to sleep in his own bed several months ago because it felt too big now. he tried sleeping in senri's once and he almost jumped out of it. so, the couch it is, even if it also carries more memories than he'd like. ]

[it's always the couch, isn't it.

Senri wanders into their room quietly and blinks in quiet surprise when he notices that Taka has taken up their couch as his place to sleep - did he fall asleep there after working on a case? but he doesn't have anything around him and it didn't look like any of their video game systems on.... he frowns because there can be no way that's good for his back - but it's also not senri's business. he shakes his head out of those thoughts and quietly leaves his luggage in the corner, just barely polite enough to leave it for the morning so he can crawl up to his bed and try to sleep.

.... but even for months before he left for London, he hadn't slept in this bed. it feels odd and awkward and even despite his absurdly long flight he doesn't feel sleep get any closer to taking him. he tells himself to push through it, because he eventually learned how to fall asleep in his bed in London without taka too.

(admittedly his remedy for that was wearing the hoodie he'd borrowed from him, which still smelled enough like his boyfriend to put Senri at ease.)

.... it doesn't feel right when taka is right there, so close and yet so far.

he doesn't know what drives him to actually move after an hour of no sleep. he doesn't know if it's smart, or if it'll set off a fight. but he grabs the closest blanket that can cover them both and brings it to the couch. he throws it over taka first, and then he takes a breath in and

crawls in next to him

and quietly hopes.]

[ it's the blanket, at first, that makes him stir.

he hadn't expected senri to be back now. but he's still groggy enough that he's not sure what the time actually is or if maybe he forgot about the day again. he doesn't even need to open his eyes to know who it is though; they've shared a bed so many times that it would be more surprising if taka forgot how it felt.

they're broken up. he should tell senri to go back to bed, or he should get up and move somewhere else.

instead, he just shifts over so that senri won't be too close to the edge. he almost, almost wraps an arm around him out of habit, but he manages not to cross that line at least. ]

[they're not together anymore, but taka isn't kicking him out.

... he's a really kind person, even if he doesn't show it well. it's in the little ways like this, where even if he's half-asleep, his gut instinct isn't to shove senri away even though they broke up. even though there are probably just as many hurt feelings as there are good memories.

but senri will always push and push and push for more. he nestles in against taka, presses his face against his shoulder, and breathes in.

then, far too tellingly, he breathes out a sigh of relief, and relaxes as they fit together just as well as they did all those months ago.

... it'll be bad in the morning. senri knows that too. but for right now, it's easy to close his eyes, and forget, and feel only like he's coming home.]

[ it really is the first time in months that taka is able to sleep well.

it shouldn't be, because you can only be so comfortable on a couch, and the space is cramped with the two of them on it, but he's never felt so at ease in... well. he knows how long, right til the day.

so he falls asleep, cuddled as closely to senri as he dares, and he's grateful that the other was willing to toe the line there because he wasn't going to. it's fine. it's almost like never had happened at all, and that there wasn't ever any distance between them.

except then the morning comes.

when he wakes up, he doesn't open his eyes. because if senri is awake, he would rather not know cause then he'd be forced to move. ]

[it's really a perfect rest.

the closest senri ever got to a restful sleep since he left japan, and ever since taka left after his brief visit to london, was when he passed out from sheer exhaustion when hanging out with friends. he never quite broke his habit of snoozing mid-hang out if it got late enough, but it still wasn't the same. he didn't get to feel the warmth of the person he likes most in the whole world, and he didn't get to nestle his face against him and breath in the familiarity.

but senri wakes up after taka - and it's bumbling. when he wakes up again, it's slow, and for a second he denies the first rays of morning peeking through the burger windows by making a noise of complaint and pressing his face into the crook of taka's neck, his arm wrapping around taka's middle to keep him in place before his boyfriend tries to wake him up rudely so that they can make it to class -

until he remembers he doesn't have a boyfriend.

and then he's freezing, eyes flashing open, and he pulls back so fast he nearly falls off the couch]

—whoawhoawhoa.

[he tries not to be too loud but also like, trying to avoid dying at the same time]

[ well he can't keep pretending to be asleep after that

he sits up so he can reach over and grab onto senri, pulling him back fully onto the couch. it wouldn't be the first time he's fallen off of it, but for some reason it's just very important to taka that senri doesn't fall off of it right now.

although once he's not in danger, taka just... lets go of him, scooting further away from him on the couch. ]

... you're back.

[ that seems like a. safe thing to say to your ex that your cuddled with last night. ]

Uh...

[ - and he's back to safety now but he can't help but think maybe it would've been easier for him to have fallen off the couch and then claim amnesia. as is he's back on it now, having regained his equilibrium and blinking as he tries to carry this conversation in a way that won't make him want to set himself on fire]

... Yeah. My flight - super early—

[he blinks

and looks around as if just realizing now that it is no longer the dead of night and]

... did I sleepwalk?

[this is the best he has right now]

Uh.

[ he has no answer

but he nods anyway, uncertainly, because for all he knows that was what actually happened. it'll be easier that way, if it were a mistake because they're tired and their bodies were just moving on autopilot ]

Class is soon.

[ probably???

he hasn't even checked the time ]

.... oh!

[and then Senri will jump right off the couch, running for the closet where he left his uniform for the past few months]

Maki-senpai said he'd personally kill me if I miss even one more class - scary, way too scary!

[honestly like 70% of this is real genuine terror and

the rest is trying to get away from having a conversation about how easily they cuddled the night before, and how much Senri obviously missed being next to Taka]

[ it's fine it's not like taka wants to talk about it either

but he watches senri scramble away, not getting up from his spot since his closet is still close enough to senri's they'd still have to awkwardly interact.

he wonders if senri is dating someone, and then decides that he isn't if he slept with taka like that because senri may have a lot of negative attributes but a cheater is not one of them. and then taka scolds himself for even thinking about something that isn't any of his business anymore. ]

... mm, he probably would.

Right? I hear he only got more vicious and moody now that Ryugasaki-senpai graduated! How is that possible?!

[sure this is a safe topic.

because senri is changing at the speed of light because once he's properly dressed then he can get out of the room, you know?? he's reaching for his phone the second that he's done and his expression lights up as he scrolls through all his texts. he doesn't actually pay attention to the time.

it's as he's slipping on his shoes that he glances over his shoulder to taka - ]

You'll be good for breakfast?

[ - and then his expression twitches as he remembers that he never bothered to ask taka that before they started dating, because it didn't matter if they were going to eat together or not]

[ ah

he just shrugs casually, still not moving from the couch. he probably should actually get up to start getting dressed since he actually has things to do before class starts, but he seems to be staying put until senri actually leaves the room. ]

Mmhm. I eat with Touji.

[ more like touji started forcing taka to get breakfast with him after he and senri broke up. but it's not like senri needs to know that, and he only brings it up because he's bound to run into touji picking him up one of these days. ]

[senri's first thought: well that's good, touji's too gay for mikekado-senpai to try anything
senri's second thought: even if he did, i'm cuter
senri's third thought: wait.

he blinks for a second as these conflicting thoughts slam through his head and he finds that he can't actually give voice to any of them.]

... oh, that's—

['nice', he should probably say 'nice'.

but his phone goes off at that moment, and he jumps on the chance to be distracted. he brings his phone up to his ear and starts his conversation just a little too loudly]

Hello, hello, Nito Senri here! Yeah, I'm back on campus - how much did you miss me?

[aaaaand he's out]

He is so fucking loud.

[ he mostly says it out loud to fill in the silence after senri leaves, and it feels nice to insult senri after all of that. like things could go back to normal, maybe, whatever "normal" might be for them now.

but once he's sure that senri isn't going to suddenly walk by in, he grabs the blanket that senri covered them with, brings it to his face, and breathes in it. it smells faintly of senri, and taka knows that this is probably creepy but it helps calm his nerves down a little.

and then he lets go, so he can get dressed and get dragged out by touji and go on about his day as usual. ]

[senri's day is busy and the funny thing is that there's no way that he could've seen all these people in a short amount of time if he was still dating Taka. his morning is spent hanging out with people outside of the special class, eating breakfast with them and chatting about what he missed, and he kicks off their first class with dramatically leaping into Yuma's arms and knocking the both of them over - and Touji who tried to help.

lunchtime he meets the new first years and doesn't leave them alone until they call him Senpai. he also gives out the tons of gifts that he collected from London to everyone else in the special class - well, except for Taka. but he hopes no one notices, and no one mentions.

he avoids going back to their room for as long as he can, filling up his day with other reunions, but eventually he has to go back if he wants to even vaguely start unpacking.

since he's home before Taka he assumes it's fine if he reaches into his luggage to pull out the clothes he stole from his then-boyfriend for his trip, and just. quietly try to put them back in Taka's closet without talking about it]

[ when taka comes back, he pauses at the door when he hears senri shuffling around before he actually sees him. even though he was very aware of senri's presence at school, he's still surprised to find him in the dorm. he guesses he's just gotten so used to the quiet.

his guitar is slung over his back after practice, so he just goes to set it aside as far from anything that senri might need to grab as possible. he's annoyed; he hadn't expected senri to try talking to him at school. hell, taka also actively avoided him. but the flaunting of the souvenirs as he skipped over taka was aggravating and later on some of his followers approached him to console him since they somehow found out about it.

mostly though, he just says nothing to senri. ]

[it's kind of funny - even before they were dating, their room was never quiet. but as senri unpacks with his earphones in, he ignores taka as much as humanly possible. taka's clothes are returned to him and senri works on doing the same with his own wardrobe.

it's just - there's a box that's in his way.

and everyone else got a bunch of gifts, sure. yuma got a whole scrapbook of reference pictures that senri specifically took, even returning to the same spot at different times to get the lighting changes. touji got a book of shakespeare's love sonnets. yanagi a small print of a garden from a museum. mikage and chizuru a bunch of candy. minato a scarf, yuni a hair barette, kasuka some incense. shinya a soccer jersey, shigure a special threatening-looking letter opener.

but none of them compare to the sizable Box of things that senri picked up for taka. he picks up one item from them as he pulls out his earphones and pauses.]

.... you know, I couldn't really show this off in front of everyone else, because they'd get suuuuper jealous.

[he'll break the silence as he walks over, book in hand]

And I - uh, got it before we...

[that's a lie also.

given that it's some rare edition of a sherlock holmes collection, and senri initially bought it super excitedly while out with a friend, until said friend had to remind him that he was no longer dating taka, and he proceeded to have a breakdown in the middle of the street

anyway he's handing it out to taka]

But it's not like I could return it, so!

[he totally could've

it's fine]

[ it's very unfortunate that when taka gets very excited about something, he reverts to a little kid

because when he turns to see what senri is holding out, his eyes immediately light up and he shoots over to him to take the book. he starts to flip through the pages, as if inspecting it's the real deal, and he starts talking very quickly, ]

Holy shit! Where did you get this? Do you have any idea how hard this is to find? If you look for it online it's like fifty times the normal price, it's insane, and it's in perfect condition, how did you--

[ and then he remembers who he's talking to, and just as suddenly as he started talking, he stops

and awkwardly lets his hands, with the book still in them, drop down in front of him. ]

Uh. Thanks.

[haha yeah

he doesn't want to think about how much he paid for it

but he blinks plainly when taka seems to immediately put a stopper on his excited reaction.]

.... uh-huh.

[and like - senri gets it! 'thanks' is really the only thing he can expect from his boyfrien- ex. from his ex. he shouldn't have wanted for anything more than that, like a hug, or a kiss or - ]

Yup, you're welcome!

[and he'll turn back to his closet to keep unpacking but like. more bitterly now apparently,,]

[ it's fine?? it's fine.

taka will just... walk over to the table so he can sift through the book. he does eventually close it and sets it aside for later, mostly because it feels awkward?? whether or not he notices senri's discontent is up in the air since

even if he did, he won't bring it up like he normally would. the last thing he wants to do right now is start a fight considering how their last fight ended. ]

[senri hates how he can't help but sneak a peek over to taka as he's reading, and how he hopes that he really does like the book, and how he wants him to enjoy it like the nerd that he is

and then he picks up the box of other shit he got for taka and angrily tosses it into his closet and slams the doors a bit more roughly than he would otherwise, because he's mad that he can't give it to his boyfriend to kill him because he doesn't have a boyfriend anymore

his phone goes off again and he picks it up - and it's small talk for a bit where he stubbornly keep his back to taka, up until it gets to planning some time to meet up and

senri oh so casually leans back against his desk and watches taka out of the corner of his eye]

Sure, let's make it a date!

[senri: ya ofc i wanna get over him
senri: i should get over him so loudly just to see if he notices]

[ it's a good thing taka put the book down because he would have definitely dropped it right then

and like, taka is very aware that senri had gone on dates in london. he's seen the statuses until he had to mute senri's accounts, and then people would bring it up to him. oh, he's awful isn't he, shishimaru-kun? he's just showing off! and while taka understood why they would tell him this, it just made him angrier to be pitied

so. he's not entirely surprised by this, but it still pisses him off that senri would have the nerve to flaunt it like this. he actually starts to reach for the book to flat out throw it at his head, but he manages to instead step away from the table. ]

Tch... horny rabbit.

[ it's fine? it's fine.

although now the insult is said much more harshly than the last time he did. ]

[PLEASE, THIS BOOK DID NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS

but senri seems to ignore taka's comment as he finishes up making his plans - just tomorrow, just for dinner, it's... just a theater friend so senri doesn't think it's actually romantic at all he just wanted to use the word to piss taka off.

apparently it worked.

he hangs up and tilts his head as he faces taka.]

Isn't this what you wanted? For me to find someone who can actually take care of me?

["... you'd be a lot happier with someone else anyway" was what taka said - and senri hasn't been able to forget it. the resignation, the acceptance that he didn't want to try anymore, the way it broke his heart into tiny little pieces that he still hasn't quite fit back together

... though the irony is that senri hasn't found that yet, no matter how hard he's looked.]

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