She said it'd be better if I knew how to keep my mouth shut.
What? My personality is 80% of what makes me so charming, even if my appearance can more than cover it. My bar needs to go up to 200% or something to cover both.
[ how can he be a boyfriend thorns can show off, then???
he opens his mouth: ]
Obviously. Who do you think I am? It's one of the first thing I told everyone when I introduced myself. I have a childhood sweetheart I'm committed to. But—
[ someone else yells his name in the distance, and he closes his mouth, clciks his tongue. he turns to thorns with an apologetic expression. ]
looks like he's about to cry having to be the one to hang up first. alas, he does not want his phone taken away from him so he will just accept his fate before fate does him in. ]
… I'll be back as soon as I can. [ SMOOCHES HIS CAMERA TEARFULLY!!! ] Later.
thorns will go and wash out his coffee mug as he contemplates certain things. the first is that rich people apparently do not respect boundaries, which he sort of already knew but it was something else to witness.
the more important thing is that he is really learning that he is jealous? which, again, is something he knew after the whole kitten fiasco but this is now a whole new level. the lipstick marks??? the unbuttoned shirt?????
[ they are both suffering so bad out here he doesn't like any of these pretentious people…… but he must. for the promise of job security and financial stability. even if he's not sure how much he cares about either of those, he's convinced himself of it.
hours more of untz untz untz later, ]
alive
[ and then a picture of the top-half of elysium's head. it is very rare for him to take pictures where he is not model facing to some degree, but his eyes are barely opened, his hair is sticking up in places it shouldn't be, and it doesn't even look like he's made it to his bed? he's on a couch. still, he'd promised thorns an update… there it is… at 7am.
[ you can't get either of those when you're dead, thorns…………………
just kidding he also has to be alive in this thread also because of capitalism; it may be concerning that it only takes a few minutes for him to respond. ]
[ listen... between both of their schedules, thorns has more free time, so he will wait dutifully like a wife waiting for her husband to return from war. ]
Of course I will. It's the least I can do. We're dating
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Who is that?
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[ she smacks his head. he goes ow and nurses the spot before storming off. ]
… I should probably be nicer. [ once again looks like he's going to have a crisis ]
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[ this might affect how nice thorns thinks elysium should be. ]
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What? My personality is 80% of what makes me so charming, even if my appearance can more than cover it. My bar needs to go up to 200% or something to cover both.
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he realizes this is crazy so he doesn't say it. ]
Do they think you're single?
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he opens his mouth: ]
Obviously. Who do you think I am? It's one of the first thing I told everyone when I introduced myself. I have a childhood sweetheart I'm committed to. But—
[ someone else yells his name in the distance, and he closes his mouth, clciks his tongue. he turns to thorns with an apologetic expression. ]
Shit, man. Why does time go by so fast…?
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[ one where elysium is sober and not being chased down by other rich people. ]
Drink water. Make sure you aren't doing anything on an empty stomach.
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I'll text you when I'm back.
[ it has once again passed the time he should leave. how can he? when thorns is still there on the other line… ]
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[ is he even allowed to drive anymore after he ran away ]
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but also, yeah, he's a flight risk. this is what it's like to be grounded in your twenties. embarrassing.
the same girl from earlier is once again approaching from behind. ]
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[ he just warns him this time instead of letting him get cornered. ]
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looks like he's about to cry having to be the one to hang up first. alas, he does not want his phone taken away from him so he will just accept his fate before fate does him in. ]
… I'll be back as soon as I can. [ SMOOCHES HIS CAMERA TEARFULLY!!! ] Later.
[ runs off in embarrassment ]
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thorns will go and wash out his coffee mug as he contemplates certain things. the first is that rich people apparently do not respect boundaries, which he sort of already knew but it was something else to witness.
the more important thing is that he is really learning that he is jealous? which, again, is something he knew after the whole kitten fiasco but this is now a whole new level. the lipstick marks??? the unbuttoned shirt?????
EXPLODES
he waddles to bed. ]
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hours more of untz untz untz later, ]
alive
[ and then a picture of the top-half of elysium's head. it is very rare for him to take pictures where he is not model facing to some degree, but his eyes are barely opened, his hair is sticking up in places it shouldn't be, and it doesn't even look like he's made it to his bed? he's on a couch. still, he'd promised thorns an update… there it is… at 7am.
gooby. ]
dead
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thorns responds two hours later because he was asleep when the text arrived. ]
Drink water.
Get painkillers.
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just kidding he also has to be alive in this thread also because of capitalism; it may be concerning that it only takes a few minutes for him to respond. ]
yea
Did you sleep ok?
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Yes.
You didn't.
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then another picture of the glass empty! no ibuprofen in sight. 🥺 ]
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somehow the hardest part of long distance is not being able to assure that elysium is well rested and healthy. ]
Go to sleep.
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I'll have time after this meeting
But
You don't want to talk?
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I do.
You were in bad shape though.
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I'll be back in four hours
Let me know if you'll be around
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[ he did not even remotely check his schedule before agreeing. it is dire. ]
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I'm sorry
Thanks for working around my schedule all the time
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Of course I will. It's the least I can do.
We're dating
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