no looky for real this time

[preordain]

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[preordain]

[ they are definitely going to need to get a rice cooker at some point. ryo forces akira to use a fuckin pot.

some things probably would have been less painful if they saw each other, but... it would have ended poorly. ryo knows himself well enough that he probably would have done something crazy at some point, so it was better to just have a clean break. well... 'better' ]

You can tell me about it. Whatever you still remember.

[ it has been a long time. he doesn't expect akira to remember every little thing he wanted to tell him. ]

I took pictures. I can show you sometime.

[tearduct]

[Yeah, he is having to use a pot out here. He will go get things later. Not just a bunch if meat snd whipped cream.

The idea of photos gets a weak, but genuine smile out of him. He starts hunting for spices before starting anything else.]

Okay. I want to see them. [Ryo took pictures…] For each picture I get to see, I’ll try to remember some of the stuff I wished I could have shown you.

If I can.

[preordain]

[ most of the pictures are going to be shit like, things for research purposes, the cat, and times where lavi stole his phone

but ryo nods, accepting the exchange. it's probably as good as they're going to get for this, when there's still so many things to avoid. maybe one day when things are less fresh, and they're further away from this specific hurt, ryo will be able to ask for more details. he is just nowhere near that point now. ]

I'm a little disappointed I can't see how you modeled.

[ he's still gay ]

[tearduct]

[It’s fine. They will trade stupidity for stupidity since all of Akira’s are going to probably be idiotic. “I saw vanilla ice cream and it made me think of you.”

He doesn’t worry about the rest right now. He isn’t sure if there will even be a time Ryo is comfortable talking about the twins and the others, so he hinges nothing on it.]

I… [WHY IS HE SHY AND EMBARRASSED.] It wasn’t much really… I modeled company male lines. More of the alternative stuff, but sometimes brands would want me to do business looks if they were bold.

[preordain]

I see...

[ he tries to imagine it, but he supposes in hell akira did have fun with the different outfits. ryo hadn't bothered too much because everything was always hidden under his big ass coat that he doesn't even own anymore. rip to it, it was a real one ]

Did you have fans?

[tearduct]

[That makes him laugh, quiet but genuine. He still seems a little embarrassed despite the bit of grin. He looks away!!

So he can focus on the right spices, maybe see if Ryo has a can of coconut milk, not because he is embarrassed. That’s definitely it.]

I guess? It wasn’t anything crazy since I was just a model, not like an actor or something. Mostly it was middle school girls, or… creepy older women, I guess.

[preordain]

[ help. he laughs, and then very quickly covers it with a cough. cough cough. sorry the mental image of that was so fucking funny. ]

Ah. So like a real idol then?

[ isn't that how bts fans work ]

[tearduct]

[He pauses to give Ryo a pointedly playful squint for the laugh. No, it’s funny. Still!

Once he has the spices, he gets everything ready for the chicken cooking.]

Something like that. I didn’t interact with anyone in person really. Not unless they recognized me somehow the times I could be out.

[He’s thoughtful for a moment. He thinks he might ruin Ryo’s amusement if he mentions he hosted for a little bit too, so he doesn’t mention it.]

Which wasn’t a whole lot later since anyone recognizing me could have been trouble.

[preordain]

[ gonna be honest. he will take the hosting news better than he would any actual real romantic news. these sorts of things are easier to deal with if he knows there's no real emotional attachment coming from akira while he does them. that is not to say he would not get jealous, but he would probably decide it's funnier than anything, once he thinks about it.

but hmmm. he sets jd onto the floor and the cat zooms off somewhere, likely to return as soon as they move to actually eat. ryo then walks over to akira, stopping behind him, and hooking his chin over akira's shoulder. he's peeking. ]

Did you ever travel to places further out then? Other countries?

[tearduct]

[He is too nervous… Ryo will have plenty of time to hear about the idiocy of hosting later, though.

Briefly, he pauses as Ryo’s chin fits over his shoulder, giving Ryo room. But then he carries on with what he’s doing with the chicken. Gotta cook the chimkin.]

Yeah. A few times for modeling, but most were like vacations. Italy a lot. [Vincenzo…] A few places in Europe. Korea. Taiwan. New Zealand once. Oh. Dubai once. It was way too fancy, but the scenery was nice.

[preordain]

Mm.

[ that's good, since akira probably would have had more freedom to move around away from japan. he thinks that it might have been nice to see those places with him, and then abandons the thought so he won't linger too long on what could have been. ]

Which was your favorite?

[tearduct]

[He bumps Ryo’s head with his own softly. Then he hums.]

Mmm. Hawaii. You didn’t mind being outside because it was all pretty. It was like… paradise. Always warm, you could smell the sea, the fruit was good.

But I liked Norway too. Because of the northern lights. All the stars.

[It also reminded him of something, but he doesn’t say what.]

[preordain]

[ the sea, huh... that's one thing you don't get here. there are islands that can simulate it rather well, but it's not really the same as the real thing.

he lightly bumps akira back. ]

That sounds nice. [ ... ] It's amazing, how beautiful the world can be when you get a chance to see it.

[tearduct]

[Yeah. So stop trying to destroy it, RYO. “He wasn’t trying to destroy it.”]

I know. It was nice.

[And something he’d have liked Ryo to see, too. With him.

He leans his head against Ryo’s now instead, and he’s quiet for a long moment. But then he lifts his head so he can glance at Ryo a bit.]

Do you want to go see other places…? Maybe we can find one that’s kind of like the earth.

[preordain]

[ ah... that is an option. there's nothing really stopping them from not only staying in hell, unless they really want to be punishing to themselves.

but, at the same time, that kind of feels like it would be letting god win. if their fate was to always be miserable no matter what, then wouldn't it be nice to go out of their way to try not to be? ]

... we can. I can show you Teyvat, too.

[ he knows it rather well, and while there's probably some changes since the last time he's been, it's like not enough to make him lost. ]

[tearduct]

[A slight grin comes to his face. Soft! But a grin.]

Okay, it’s a deal then. We’ll go see some other places together. We can come back here when we’re done.

[Or they can, like, move somewhere else if they happened to find a place that worked out. But he doesn’t mind returning to hell to “live.”]

Together.

[preordain]

[ there's a pause, and he will slowly wrap his arms around akira's waist. it's a loose hold, at least. ]

Right. Together. I'd like that.

[ something to look forward to. he already knows there are other versions of earth, anyway, going by the other people they were stuck here with. they can probably find one to visit if they want to be nostalgic without the whole potential baggage attached. ]

How's the food?

[tearduct]

Me too.

[He does not say anything about the hold because there are gay feelings there even if Ryo assumed there wasn't any because Akira was a moron who said there wasn't in order to move on. It's fine.

He lifts up one of the pieces of chicken, one that has been cooked through, so Ryo can taste it with the sauce added. He just needs to sort of thicken it with the coconut milk I'm forcing Ryo to have.]

You tell me.

[preordain]

[ ryo is going to think this is unrequited for the rest of their lives but is still going to continue to flirt with akira anyway because it does not matter anymore. what's going to happen? he gets rejected again? he fears nothing

but he will taste the chimkin... and chew it... and swallow... ]

It's fine.

[tearduct]

[I HATE RYO SO BADLY. Akira also hates him, but cannot do anything about it just yet because it's only been, like, a day. Technically not just a day for him, but like a day since they've met.

He watches Ryo, wondering if Ryo gets literally any pleasure out of any kind of meal. He smiles wryly, and then he tries one himself to make sure it isn't a disaster.]

Are you going to eat any?

[preordain]

Sure...

[ he might as well, since it's the first day back. celebration or whatever.

he will let go of akira though and step back. he's going to go find plates... jd wanders back in, waiting to be fed. ]

[tearduct]

Okay. The rice is almost finished.

[Ryo celebrating before returning to being himself, content that Akira is here...

He watches JD prowl back in, and he smiles a bit. He's going to pick some of the chicken out of the curry, rinse it off, then spoil JD by putting it on the floor for JD to inspect and hopefully eat.

Listen... His baby.]

[preordain]

[ ryo watchies this happen with a disapproving look, because he is 100% the kind of pet owner with a very strict feeding schedule and akira is not adhering to it.

but he'll go put the plates and utensils on the table, and then he will take a moment to stand at the table and wonder what the fuck happened today to lead to this. it's still kind of surreal, and he isn't fully convinced that by next morning it'll turn out this was some sort of messed up dream, but

it's nice. this can be nice. the ugly thoughts are still swimming in his head but he can push them away for today. he walks back to the kitchen. ]

You're not still spoiling him, are you?

[tearduct]

[He is the good cop, yeah. So now JD is gonna be acting rebellious from bring spoiled.

He gives JD some brisk scritches on each side of the head, and then hurriedly washes his hands as Ryo comes back.

Not caught red handed, but JD is clearly finishing the chicken piece on the floor…]

He’s hungry, Ryo… It was just a snack…

[preordain]

[ >:(!!!

his expression is still disapproving. his gaze shifts to the cat and he sighs ]

This better not cause issues later.

[ he goes back to wait at the table ]