[ thinks about how aki said that scara probably eventually kills himself, so. ryo decides to never mention this ever to akira. amen.
but he glances over at jd at the mention of him, then looks back to akira. he's still wondering what to say. ]
Mm. [ well best to leave the scara topic, so. ] I could accept you not loving me back. Even liking someone else instead. But the one thing I couldn't comprehend was how you could choose someone you only knew for a few weeks over me. You let me go so easily that I never considered you were lying.
[ he turns slightly, not really away but so that he can look at the ceiling. ]
[Oh. That’s okay. Because he found that out from Wednesday which is why him and Scaramouche beat the shit out if each other the last week.
And also maybe why he told Ryo about that option even if he didn’t wanna.
So Scaramouche unaliving himself is just expected now, and he hates it.]
I wanted… to try having a normal life. Like I had before. Before… the Sabbath party, before Amon. I’m not the same as I was once, though, so I don’t think I even accomplished that… but I thought… it would be okay to just try.
[He tucks himself by Ryo’s side, his arms against his chest.]
[ a normal life, huh... ryo could point out how that wouldn't have worked and it was a little silly to think so. they can aim for normal but it would never be the same type of normal that people not in their situation would have.
except akira is already aware of that. he lived through it. ryo is just remembering to be mad about it. ]
... I'm a little surprised you still feel the same. It's been a while. Normally, those kinds of feelings would fade.
[First of all. He turns slightly onto his own back, careful of JD, twisting at the waist rather than lying flat.
He's looking the other way, though, instead of up at the ceiling.]
I thought maybe they did. But then... when I came back, when I saw you again. They hadn't disappeared. They rose up so fast, I thought I was going to suffocate.
[ hmmm. he can't really relate, since he was very painfully aware of his feelings for akira during their separation. although the difference being that akira was attempting to make a life with another person while ryo was still holding onto the past. and also a cat.
[The... juxtaposition of their respective paths. Wild.
He is quiet like before for a very long time. It's almost as if he has fallen asleep, but his breathing isn't quite deep enough for that to be true. His eyes are still open. Finally, he slowly turns back to face Ryo.]
Will you forgive me, Ryo? I want to ask for your forgiveness.
[Very funny, asking the fallen angel Satan for forgiveness.]
[ once again, akira says something today that ryo was not actually expecting.
he's still mad, and he thinks it's probably going to take a bit for that to fade away, especially since he isn't entirely sure where to direct that anger at. it's difficult, since the obvious answer is at akira, but...
he also turns so he can look at akira. ]
Yes.
[ ...
that was easy enough. even with all the hurt, at the end of the day, akira is here right now. that's all he wants. ]
[Maybe they should fight and get all of their anger out since there won't really be any repercussions... But they would probably fight and then end up banging again after...
A small smile comes to his lips. He reaches up and brushes Ryo's face with his fingers, pushes some hair back.]
[ it's fine they'll probably fight another day and then bang again i guess
but he has an arm... ryo thinks about the question though, because in general he doesn't really think about things in terms of if he's happy or not. even when they were back in their original world, he didn't quite see things that way. ]
I... think so. [ hmmm. ] There's a very warm feeling in my chest.
[Well, he is simply going to assume this is being happy and not being full of burning rage like it may or may not be. He doesn't trust Ryo to understand what feelings are exactly.
It's fine.
He smiles slightly, tipping his head in to lean it against Ryo's.]
ryo lets out a sigh. this... went well? he can't really say he thought what would happen today when they ran into each other back in the city, but. it's kind of crazy just how much things just changed so very quickly. ]
[There’s no hesitation to the answer. His hand moves down to take Ryo’s own, and he brings it between them to put Ryo’s hand over his chest. To let Ryo feel his heartbeat. Slow and steady and deep, not nervous or racing away.
Content.]
Wake me up tomorrow, okay? I don’t want this to be a dream.
[ he is still thinking about earlier when instead of feeling soft at akira doing the shoujo sleep moment with him, he just got annoyed that akira wasn't waking up. help. ]
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but he glances over at jd at the mention of him, then looks back to akira. he's still wondering what to say. ]
Mm. [ well best to leave the scara topic, so. ] I could accept you not loving me back. Even liking someone else instead. But the one thing I couldn't comprehend was how you could choose someone you only knew for a few weeks over me. You let me go so easily that I never considered you were lying.
[ he turns slightly, not really away but so that he can look at the ceiling. ]
I really never thought I'd see you again.
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And also maybe why he told Ryo about that option even if he didn’t wanna.
So Scaramouche unaliving himself is just expected now, and he hates it.]
I wanted… to try having a normal life. Like I had before. Before… the Sabbath party, before Amon. I’m not the same as I was once, though, so I don’t think I even accomplished that… but I thought… it would be okay to just try.
[He tucks himself by Ryo’s side, his arms against his chest.]
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except akira is already aware of that. he lived through it. ryo is just remembering to be mad about it. ]
... I'm a little surprised you still feel the same. It's been a while. Normally, those kinds of feelings would fade.
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[First of all. He turns slightly onto his own back, careful of JD, twisting at the waist rather than lying flat.
He's looking the other way, though, instead of up at the ceiling.]
I thought maybe they did. But then... when I came back, when I saw you again. They hadn't disappeared. They rose up so fast, I thought I was going to suffocate.
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he closes his eyes. ]
Do you have anything you want to ask?
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He is quiet like before for a very long time. It's almost as if he has fallen asleep, but his breathing isn't quite deep enough for that to be true. His eyes are still open. Finally, he slowly turns back to face Ryo.]
Will you forgive me, Ryo? I want to ask for your forgiveness.
[Very funny, asking the fallen angel Satan for forgiveness.]
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he's still mad, and he thinks it's probably going to take a bit for that to fade away, especially since he isn't entirely sure where to direct that anger at. it's difficult, since the obvious answer is at akira, but...
he also turns so he can look at akira. ]
Yes.
[ ...
that was easy enough. even with all the hurt, at the end of the day, akira is here right now. that's all he wants. ]
We can figure everything else out.
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A small smile comes to his lips. He reaches up and brushes Ryo's face with his fingers, pushes some hair back.]
Thank you, Ryo.
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but sometimes you are so heart eyes. he tries to move a little closer, although it's difficult when there is a cat still on top of you. ]
Is there anything else...?
[ that he wants to bring up like. tonight. ]
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He stretches his arm over Ryo, and even though Ryo can't get too much closer because of a cat, he now has an arm at least.]
Are you happy?
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but he has an arm... ryo thinks about the question though, because in general he doesn't really think about things in terms of if he's happy or not. even when they were back in their original world, he didn't quite see things that way. ]
I... think so. [ hmmm. ] There's a very warm feeling in my chest.
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It's fine.
He smiles slightly, tipping his head in to lean it against Ryo's.]
Okay. That's all.
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ryo lets out a sigh. this... went well? he can't really say he thought what would happen today when they ran into each other back in the city, but. it's kind of crazy just how much things just changed so very quickly. ]
... are you happy?
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[There’s no hesitation to the answer. His hand moves down to take Ryo’s own, and he brings it between them to put Ryo’s hand over his chest. To let Ryo feel his heartbeat. Slow and steady and deep, not nervous or racing away.
Content.]
Wake me up tomorrow, okay? I don’t want this to be a dream.
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[ he is still thinking about earlier when instead of feeling soft at akira doing the shoujo sleep moment with him, he just got annoyed that akira wasn't waking up. help. ]
I will. I'll still be here.
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[This is why he doesn’t trust the feeling in Ryo to not be evil and rage.
He hums gently.]
You better be here. [A long pause. His eyes are closed this time.] If you don’t want to sleep the whole time, you can get up.
[He knows Ryo doesn’t really need it the same way, so.]
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ryo just leans forward a bit so he can give akira a kiss-- simple and chaste. ]
Uh huh. If the cat lets me. [ ... ] Goodnight, Akira. I'm glad you're here.
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He murmurs, and his head shifts habitually to lightly and drowsily return the kiss. His arm goes back over Eyo, draping.]
Night, Ryo…