more specifically, three years and a few months. because after toi's term had ended, he still couldn't bring himself to see anyone right away. part of it had to do with business; he had to be reintroduced to normal society. his friends had to drag him back to his aunt and uncle. they had to figure out school, since most high schools wouldn't accept him. but mostly, he needed time to simply exist with the people who cared about him and who had seen him at his absolute worst but still loved him anyway.
it's funny, because logically he knows that the people from the mansion wouldn't hate him for this. after everything they had been through together, he knows this. they might have questions, or they might be upset, but he knows they wouldn't hate him. especially meltryllis. but he still worries about it, and delays it, because just in case, right? even though they're more likely to be angry about the lack of contact than anything else
but one day he brings the takes the pendent out from his hiding spot, as well as the ribbon she had given him. he goes to the spot where he met keppi and there, tries to summon her.
[ Time works differently for someone like Meltryllis, whose spirit is stored in a place out of time and space and who has access to time traveling technology. Even with everything is said and done with her previous Master, she doesn't go back to where she should.
Didn't they have a conversation once? Toi said he'd prefer to meet her (this her) again, and so she stayed materialized without a Master because she's Meltryllis, a goddess in her own right and in her own making.
She waits until she hears his call, and in a flash of sparkling light, she appears before him, looking less than amused. ]
For someone so mortal, you took your time.
[ She is happy to see him again, finally, but her pride will always be her most glaring flaw. ]
[ it's all he offers her for now, since he isn't really sure how to explain everything that happened, or if he even wants to.
but what he does know is that when he sees her, a feeling of pure joy erupts in his chest, just like when he saw his two friends after he jumped off a bridge after being released. he takes a step forward. ]
[ The look on her face says she isn't satisfied with how little that answer gives her. It's not as if she expected that much more, considering his silence these past few years, but that doesn't mean she has to like not being surprised.
She smiles, and it doesn't spell all nice things. It's a small warning. ]
Is three years enough for you not to run?
[ He took a step forward, but she doesn't. Not yet. ]
[ Meltryllis' expression doesn't soften, but if someone's atmosphere can, hers does. Without another word or another sound, she's in front of Toi before he can blink, her long sleeves wrapping around him in a hug.
She doesn't say sorry because she's not sorry that his brother is dead, but she knows of Toi's love for him. She can be sad for Toi even if she's not sad for Toi's brother. ]
he knows that she had no affection towards his brother; if it wasn't for the fact that he was convinced she'd try to kill him, he probably would have let her come home with him right when they left the mansion. although... it turns out that was for nothing, in the end. ]
A lot of stuff happened after. I couldn't visit anyone and couldn't have the pendent with me to talk.
[ There's something she mulls over in her mind. The dishes he could've collected to grant a wish.... her access to a magical item that could grant a wish, her ability to collect enough magical energy to grant a wish on her own—
Should she offer it? Would he accept it? Would it make him hurt more?
She doesn't know. It's been years, but she doesn't understand enough. ]
I'll forgive you this once. Don't make it a habit.
[ For as much as she loves, she doesn't have it in her to be so accepting. Her hold on him tightens a little. ]
[ he should offer more of an explanation. but maybe somewhere else. the other can walk over here at any moment, and he hasn't gotten around to explaining murder house to them yet. there was no time, and it didn't really seem right before he actually spoke to the people from there again. ]
it occurs to him that she might look suspicious considering knife legs, but then again, so much other weird shit has happened toi does not find himself caring too much. so he'll start walking, only looking behind him to make sure she's following. ]
[ If he asked, she would dematerialize for him, and that way no one would find anything out of the ordinary until he started trying to talk to her. On the other hand, dematerializing would also mean he wouldn't know if she were following him.
As it is, she follows and barely looks at anyone who stops and stares, observing the setting more.
Observing Toi more. After all, the only reason she's here is because it's him. ]
[ he's mostly quiet, and doesn't really seem that bothered by the staring too much. admittedly, he probably already gets weird looks considering everything. he mostly wants to avoid people he actually knows, because he'll be forced to explain who melt is and how they met and
sometimes you want to avoid explaining murdergames to your friends it's fine ]
[ Toi broke another statue, and now he has grant her wish before she goes away. She has a ready made excuse for him, if he doesn't want to tell the truth. ]
I've seen Mammon.
[ It's disgusting how even though her expression remains cool, how much she loves a stupid demon is conveyed in how she says his name. ]
Like I said... as soon as I got home, he died. [ ... ] Before I was taken to the mansion, we were in a gun fight with some enemies of his. One of them survived and shot him.
[ The last she heard, his brother had his gun out to shoot Toi? That's a little important.
What matters more to Meltryllis is that Toi is alive and safe. And happy, but she doesn't know if he is. Or if he's close to being so. After murderhouse, after his brother's death, after whatever made him unresponsive for three years, is he happy?
She looks at him critically. ]
Is pulling words out of you going to be as painful as pulling teeth? Don't bore me with vagueness. What was worth three years of silence?
[ She doesn't really care that he did anything to deserve to go to jail by human standards. She's done a bunch of things humans would never condone and isn't bothered by it.
Going and putting up with whatever being in juvie entails means he's trying to be a good person. That's not something she hates, but—
She crosses her arms even as they continue walking towards the bridge. ]
it's a hard admittance to make, considering how much he idolized chikai. and he can't say he doesn't still love him, but toi was forced to accept the fact that his brother wasn't a good person. ]
[ There's a moment of silence after that because Meltryllis does know how much Toi loved his brother (loves still? Toi probably loves his brother still, Meltryllis thinks. After all, if he could still remember to hang onto a ribbon she gave to him three years later, he'd be that type of person).
For most people, Meltryllis doesn't care about being insensitive, but for Toi—
Well.
Toi is special. ]
... Congratulations on choosing the less self-destructive option.
[ Even if she thinks he could've broken a couple rules even while in juvie. ]
If I end up in jail now, at least it'll be for my own dumb mistakes.
[ he
is very willing to admit that old habits die hard, and the chances of him breaking the law again is not like, nonexistent. sometimes you are a punk kid and that stays with you. but at least it won't be because of his brother.
it's also partly a joke. ]
... they got me back in school, but it's pretty dumb.
Skip school, and a jail won't won't be able to hold you for long.
[ She isn't going to deny that he's going to make dumb mistakes, and she's not going to tell him he shouldn't break the law. Meltryllis doesn't care about human laws. What does she care about Toi obeying things she thinks are boring?
Let him do what he wants as long as it doesn't endanger him too much.
[ Her curiosity is barely there, only present because it's Toi. ]
What are you embarrassed for?
[ No one will ever be good enough for Toi in Meltryllis' judgment, but she's at least willing to listen to Toi talk about them, if he's willing to talk about them. ]
[ he didn't really go into detail about them, and he didn't give the best impression of enta before since the last time toi really dealt with him before they were brought to the mansion was enta Fucking Everything Up For Toi.
but. ]
When I came back here after we left the house, a lot of stuff happened all at once, and if it wasn't for them I'd... probably not exist anymore.
[ so he is very thankful and also wouldn't want to give them a heart attack ]
[ you can ignore this as i pretend i don't see the year of the last time stamp
she vaguely remembers him mentioning his so-called friends and how they didn't do right by him. if they helped him, she can let them slide, but his word choice doesn't slip by her.
[ it's an answer that strikes a deep pang of despair into meltryllis' heart. that someone she loves would want to cease to exist, even for a moment, for a moment long enough to try something—
in a flash, her arms are around him. even if it's done and over with for him, it isn't for her. ]
Don't brush that off. Even if you don't think that way anymore, why?
[ she keeps her voice low because she's aware enough not to cause too much of a commotion, but she can't keep the emotion from her voice. ]
Do you remember when I said that my brother was going to shoot me? Right before we arrived to the house.
[ me going back to reread pcs for this because i was pretty sure he told her this but wanted to confirm. ]
He doesn't. Because he got shot by someone else instead, and then he died. [ there's a pause, since there's a very small amount of people who know how much he idolized his brother, but who also know about that betrayal. ] And I just... it wasn't worth it.
[ the thing that will haunt him the most is that he will never know if his brother would have actually pulled the trigger or not. ]
[ this isn't something that she thinks she can wholly understand right away, but because she loves him, she will try. ]
... You loved him that much.
[ she can understand dying for or because of someone you love. she just doesn't know what toi's brother has done to deserve that much of toi's devotion. ]
... You were willing to leave everyone else behind.
[ he admits it, but it's difficult to put the rest of it into words. enta and kazuki had asked some questions, but they were also there when it happened, so toi didn't really have to get too into it-- and none of them are the type to really discuss their feelings in depth, so he was able to pass over talking about certain things in detail.
it's a little difficult to look at her, but he manages. ]
I thought I was ready for... whatever was going to happen, after leaving the house. And I wasn't.
[ meltryllis is used to the people she loves leaving her (or her leaving them), one way or another. she only wants that by leaving, it's to be happy or to become happier, not to want to die or cease to exist because the older brother who raised him was a shitty older brother.
she knows that's not the kind of thing to say here. she understands how much toi loves his brother even if she doesn't understand why. ]
He was your whole world for a while, wasn't he? He was your whole world even if he might have betrayed you.
You'd still want him around even if you wanted something else from him. Or even if you didn't.
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more specifically, three years and a few months. because after toi's term had ended, he still couldn't bring himself to see anyone right away. part of it had to do with business; he had to be reintroduced to normal society. his friends had to drag him back to his aunt and uncle. they had to figure out school, since most high schools wouldn't accept him. but mostly, he needed time to simply exist with the people who cared about him and who had seen him at his absolute worst but still loved him anyway.
it's funny, because logically he knows that the people from the mansion wouldn't hate him for this. after everything they had been through together, he knows this. they might have questions, or they might be upset, but he knows they wouldn't hate him. especially meltryllis. but he still worries about it, and delays it, because just in case, right? even though they're more likely to be angry about the lack of contact than anything else
but one day he brings the takes the pendent out from his hiding spot, as well as the ribbon she had given him. he goes to the spot where he met keppi and there, tries to summon her.
hopefully it'll work. ]
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Didn't they have a conversation once? Toi said he'd prefer to meet her (this her) again, and so she stayed materialized without a Master because she's Meltryllis, a goddess in her own right and in her own making.
She waits until she hears his call, and in a flash of sparkling light, she appears before him, looking less than amused. ]
For someone so mortal, you took your time.
[ She is happy to see him again, finally, but her pride will always be her most glaring flaw. ]
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[ it's all he offers her for now, since he isn't really sure how to explain everything that happened, or if he even wants to.
but what he does know is that when he sees her, a feeling of pure joy erupts in his chest, just like when he saw his two friends after he jumped off a bridge after being released. he takes a step forward. ]
But it's finished now.
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She smiles, and it doesn't spell all nice things. It's a small warning. ]
Is three years enough for you not to run?
[ He took a step forward, but she doesn't. Not yet. ]
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My brother died. As soon as I left the house and returned here, he died.
[ there's still chunks of the story missing, but the rest of it is so complicated that he doesn't want to immediately jump into explaining it.
but mostly, just saying this is exhausting enough. ]
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She doesn't say sorry because she's not sorry that his brother is dead, but she knows of Toi's love for him. She can be sad for Toi even if she's not sad for Toi's brother. ]
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he knows that she had no affection towards his brother; if it wasn't for the fact that he was convinced she'd try to kill him, he probably would have let her come home with him right when they left the mansion. although... it turns out that was for nothing, in the end. ]
A lot of stuff happened after. I couldn't visit anyone and couldn't have the pendent with me to talk.
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Should she offer it? Would he accept it? Would it make him hurt more?
She doesn't know. It's been years, but she doesn't understand enough. ]
I'll forgive you this once. Don't make it a habit.
[ For as much as she loves, she doesn't have it in her to be so accepting. Her hold on him tightens a little. ]
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[ he should offer more of an explanation. but maybe somewhere else. the other can walk over here at any moment, and he hasn't gotten around to explaining murder house to them yet. there was no time, and it didn't really seem right before he actually spoke to the people from there again. ]
We can go somewhere else.
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This is your world.
[ She's waited three years. What's a few more moments? ]
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it occurs to him that she might look suspicious considering knife legs, but then again, so much other weird shit has happened toi does not find himself caring too much. so he'll start walking, only looking behind him to make sure she's following. ]
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As it is, she follows and barely looks at anyone who stops and stares, observing the setting more.
Observing Toi more. After all, the only reason she's here is because it's him. ]
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sometimes you want to avoid explaining murdergames to your friends it's fine ]
... have you seen others?
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I've seen Mammon.
[ It's disgusting how even though her expression remains cool, how much she loves a stupid demon is conveyed in how she says his name. ]
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[ i hate that this is an actual question. ]
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[ Her tone is dismissive, but it's very purposefully so. ]
I would slice him if he wanted to collect more forks.
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People can pick up on the weirdest habits.
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[ Just because she's in love doesn't mean she softens all her edges. ]
His greed doesn't have standards. But you should.
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As long as he listens to you.
[ when she tells him to stop being dumb. ]
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[ She scoffs. ]
But enough about him.
[ She's not here to talk about Mammon. She knows Toi can get the hint. ]
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[ yeah, he gets what she means.
she can see a red bridge in the distance, and that they're headed in the direction of it. ]
What do you want to know?
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[ Meltrylls is trying hard to sound like she doesn't care, and she keeps her gaze forward on the bridge they're heading towards. ]
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he's quiet for a moment, before shrugging. ]
Like I said... as soon as I got home, he died. [ ... ] Before I was taken to the mansion, we were in a gun fight with some enemies of his. One of them survived and shot him.
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Did you kill that person?
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[ for reasons that aren't important ]
And then things got hectic after.
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What matters more to Meltryllis is that Toi is alive and safe. And happy, but she doesn't know if he is. Or if he's close to being so. After murderhouse, after his brother's death, after whatever made him unresponsive for three years, is he happy?
She looks at him critically. ]
Is pulling words out of you going to be as painful as pulling teeth? Don't bore me with vagueness. What was worth three years of silence?
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... I was in juvie. [ ah. she might not be familiar with the term. ] It's basically prison for people who aren't adults.
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You chose to obey some boring rules.
[ She doesn't really care that he did anything to deserve to go to jail by human standards. She's done a bunch of things humans would never condone and isn't bothered by it.
Going and putting up with whatever being in juvie entails means he's trying to be a good person. That's not something she hates, but—
She crosses her arms even as they continue walking towards the bridge. ]
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[ his brother.
it's a hard admittance to make, considering how much he idolized chikai. and he can't say he doesn't still love him, but toi was forced to accept the fact that his brother wasn't a good person. ]
And he wouldn't have gone to jail. So I did.
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For most people, Meltryllis doesn't care about being insensitive, but for Toi—
Well.
Toi is special. ]
... Congratulations on choosing the less self-destructive option.
[ Even if she thinks he could've broken a couple rules even while in juvie. ]
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[ he
is very willing to admit that old habits die hard, and the chances of him breaking the law again is not like, nonexistent. sometimes you are a punk kid and that stays with you. but at least it won't be because of his brother.
it's also partly a joke. ]
... they got me back in school, but it's pretty dumb.
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[ She isn't going to deny that he's going to make dumb mistakes, and she's not going to tell him he shouldn't break the law. Meltryllis doesn't care about human laws. What does she care about Toi obeying things she thinks are boring?
Let him do what he wants as long as it doesn't endanger him too much.
And not much can, if she's around.
He may be joking a little, and so is she, but
She's also not. ]
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[ it's mumbled.
sometimes, you are a boy and you are really gay for two other boys, because no one in a stupid murder castle managed to romance you.
but he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly as he says it. ]
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[ Her curiosity is barely there, only present because it's Toi. ]
What are you embarrassed for?
[ No one will ever be good enough for Toi in Meltryllis' judgment, but she's at least willing to listen to Toi talk about them, if he's willing to talk about them. ]
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[ he didn't really go into detail about them, and he didn't give the best impression of enta before since the last time toi really dealt with him before they were brought to the mansion was enta Fucking Everything Up For Toi.
but. ]
When I came back here after we left the house, a lot of stuff happened all at once, and if it wasn't for them I'd... probably not exist anymore.
[ so he is very thankful and also wouldn't want to give them a heart attack ]
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she vaguely remembers him mentioning his so-called friends and how they didn't do right by him. if they helped him, she can let them slide, but his word choice doesn't slip by her.
her alarm and concern comes out sharp. ]
What did you do?
[ that he almost didn't exist. ]
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but ah. he wonders briefly how he can phrase this so it doesn't sound As Concerning, but he is making an attempt to be a little more honest.
it takes a moment though. ]
Something stupid. It didn't work. [ a pause. ] It's just what it sounds. I tried not to exist anymore.
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in a flash, her arms are around him. even if it's done and over with for him, it isn't for her. ]
Don't brush that off. Even if you don't think that way anymore, why?
[ she keeps her voice low because she's aware enough not to cause too much of a commotion, but she can't keep the emotion from her voice. ]
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[ me going back to reread pcs for this because i was pretty sure he told her this but wanted to confirm. ]
He doesn't. Because he got shot by someone else instead, and then he died. [ there's a pause, since there's a very small amount of people who know how much he idolized his brother, but who also know about that betrayal. ] And I just... it wasn't worth it.
[ the thing that will haunt him the most is that he will never know if his brother would have actually pulled the trigger or not. ]
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... You loved him that much.
[ she can understand dying for or because of someone you love. she just doesn't know what toi's brother has done to deserve that much of toi's devotion. ]
... You were willing to leave everyone else behind.
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[ he admits it, but it's difficult to put the rest of it into words. enta and kazuki had asked some questions, but they were also there when it happened, so toi didn't really have to get too into it-- and none of them are the type to really discuss their feelings in depth, so he was able to pass over talking about certain things in detail.
it's a little difficult to look at her, but he manages. ]
I thought I was ready for... whatever was going to happen, after leaving the house. And I wasn't.
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she knows that's not the kind of thing to say here. she understands how much toi loves his brother even if she doesn't understand why. ]
He was your whole world for a while, wasn't he? He was your whole world even if he might have betrayed you.
You'd still want him around even if you wanted something else from him. Or even if you didn't.
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but there is a slow nod, and he doesn't respond right away, trying to articulate a way to agree that isn't just a one word answer. ]
... yeah.
[ first step failed. but he tries again. ]
I needed to... figure that out. Before I saw anyone.