werites | bursts into tears

[ they say this in r18 bl manhwas. thank you, thorns.

but pain really is a non-issue for someone who's had to go through so much if it in so many timelines. the key difference here is what's inflicting it, coming from the person who's his entire world. it overrides whatever he might be feeling from his oripathy, whatever scuffs he'd gained from their earlier altercations—pain and pleasure blend until they're unmistakable from each other, until all he knows right now is thorns and the shape of him, finally being brought to his peak after straining against it for so long. ]

… I've never felt better.

[ his body is actively crumbling, held together by the sheer force of strength of will and medication. but he can't die until every last inch of him is screaming thorns' name. ]

How do I look now? [ spent, after verbalising his name with almost all the breath he has left. his hand cups thorns' cheek. ] I love you.

Still as beautiful as ever, mi lune.

[ it's said quietly, a sense of awe attached to his words. another thing he hears people say is that when you've been with someone for a while, you start to lose the strong, passionate feelings you had for them at the start of the relationship over time. but thorns can't ever imagine that being the case. his heart only ever burns brighter for elysium the more time passes.

he buries his face into elysium's hair as he hits his climax, remembering how elysium had tried to protest because they're not clean at the moment. how silly. as if that could ever matter in comparison to this. ]

Not more? I'm not made whole without you, mi sol.

[ which has been true for some time now. without thorns, there's a distinct hollowness in his chest he's learned to recognise far too well.

but a soft laugh presses into thorns' chest, his breath still uneven as his fingers finally flatten against the slope of his back. the warmth of him is overwhelming in the best way, filling him up and reminding him, again, why they endure everything they do. thorns is worth it. they're worth it.

it's almost funny to think a little soot or dirt could ever come between them, as if there was ever a choice in the matter. sometimes you give someone the illusion of one, even when you already know the answer. but he doesn't let go, not yet. not while he's still riding the slow, steady descent from his high. ]

[ every time that thorns might start to think they perhaps they've gone too far gets completely overwritten with moments like this. literally nothing will ever be too far if it's with and for elysium. life becomes a lot simpler once you realize what your priorities should have been all along.

thorns doesn't pull out, instead just closing his eyes as he pulls him closer. ]

Hey.

[ romantics like to say love is the strongest force there is. elysium used to think it was just a pleasant idea, but now there's nothing left to do but believe it with his whole heart. even things that would normally feel uncomfortable fade into irrelevance beside the need to be close to thorns, to stay connected in every possible way, eyes falling shut as he savours this proximity, this sensation, of being the only one to experience this side of him. ]

There's no one and nothing that shines brighter than you. Do you know that? [ the same awe that coloured thorns' gaze tinges elysium's voice. ] You're almost blinding in your brilliance.

It's hard to believe that when I'm looking at you.

[ thorns is a little biased about who's the star here.

he knows they're going to have to clean up and start moving again soon; their ten minute break definitely was not only ten minutes. but any delay is worth being close to elysium, because everything they do is to be able to have intimate moments like this, sexual or not. ]

Are you comfortable?

Isn't that why we're together? Nothing else matters, nothing else compares.

[ imagine the peace terra would achieve if everyone just found someone to be insane over and minded their own business. incredible.

but he does more than simply nestle in further; he finds the strength in his legs to hook them around thorns just to trap him where he is. no funny ideas. ]

Never been better. [ he's also never been this ill before figuratively and literally, but that's beside the point. ] Are you?

[ no funny ideas such as pulling out.

it is weird think that not too long ago they were just working their shifts like normal. thorns knows that things can change suddenly and violently, but each day feels like a different lifetime. ]

You should try to rest.

You have to stay and rest with me.

[ worded like a question, and yet anything but, nails once more scraping thorns' skin.

if they explode because one of them isn't keeping watch, they explode. it's not the same experience without thorns right next to him. ]

[ it's okay docybara is keeping watch for them (docybara is napping under a nice tree further ahead).

but he will easily try to get more comfortable without doing the single thing that would immediately make that happen because his attachment issues are insane. ]

I'm not planning on going anywhere. You'll feel me if I move.

[ it is, objectively, an insane thing to say. but elysium can only think about how romantic it is and how their bodies fit together perfectly. any notion of sacrificing closeness for comfort is simply not a thing that crosses his mind. for the sake of keeping thorns exactly where he wants him, if there's discomfort on his end? that's a skill issue he'll just learn how to adjust around. ]

Of course. Is there anywhere else you belong but here? [ there is no rhodes, no iberia, no sea. just them and their two hearts beating in tandem. ] Rest well, mi todo.

[

he really just falls asleep like this even though this is a crazy spot to snooze. granted he is running on zero sleep after fighting, travel, and h*rny so it is not surprising. ] ]

[ it being both a crazy spot and a crazy position to snooze in surely cancels out the fact that it is, objectively, a terrible, no-good idea. this could very well be the most peaceful sleep they've ever had in some time, which unfortunately means it will also gift elysium an entirely new set of revelations they probably could have lived without.

they're woken when docybara starts feeling lonely and decides that organic grass, no matter how delicious, does not make up for a lack of social interaction. he starts by chewing on their hair and slobbering over their faces, whatever fucked up position they're currently in irrelevant to his interests. that's mother and father. ]

Elysium... don't eat my hair...

[ sleepily blames elysium for something insane

he eventually opens his eyes, squinting blearily as he adjusts to being awake. emotionally this was so comfortable but physically it is not. he tries to see if elysium is still asleep or not. ]

[ the real tragedy will be elysium realising just how much heavy lifting the million painkillers he took were doing to make this possible. until then, he is also thinking something completely insane as he tries to bat this imaginary thorns away who's really just docybara.

he feels… rejected… this is the worst thing i've ever had to type. ]

Huh? More like that's too much tongue, Thorns…

[ they are so stupid kills them

well, thorns is now aware of what's happening, yet despite that he feels offended about elysium criticizing him? even though it's not him? ]

Are you saying I'm a bad kisser?

[ elysium, unfortunately, is enjoying his delusions too much to be lucid. or is he…? imagine if he didn't have that whole ass arc with his hair and had his crisis now. things happen for a reason. ]

You're getting me all wet and not in the way I want to be…

[ okay. now this is just getting beyond silly. ]

[

okay that just makes him burst out laughing. ]

… Good morning.

[ he pokes thorns' nose. ignore how he has to uncomfortably shift his thighs. ]

Sleep well?

[ thorns could answer this question if their child wasn't well headbutting them. this neglecting has gone on for too long. ]

You should take care of that.

Mm...

[ he reaches over to give docybara some pats to calm him down. their poor ignored baby who just went through something horrible (woke up and his parents weren't next to him). ]

Calm down. We'll get going soon.

[ thorns' children are the most spoiled children in existence my god. elysium included. elysium especially. ]

What if I don't want to?

[ he nibbles thorns' ear. it's thorns' turn to go through something horrible: having to deal with both his needy babies contending for his attention. but really, part of it is elysium being scared of standing up. this is so dire. ]

[ hatefully, thorns would go for round two because he needs help. but he is also aware they really do need to be moving if they want to get around to doing anything. ]

Hm? What do you want to do instead?

[ docybara headbutts again. thorns' hand is getting tired from petting. ]

[ round two is practically a given at this point in their relationship. they need to have things both ways? all the ways? maybe not so much when they're on the road, but sometimes you get put in high-stress situations and need the stress relief. sometimes, you aren't even given the option.

…

parenthood is the hardest thing in the world. he bats thorns' hand away and takes over petting docybara. now that it has received attention from both parents, it finally settles down. they are, however, on very thin ice. ]

You…

[ from how utterly defeated he sounds, this likely ain't happening ]

[ this is so pathetic. thorns leans closer so he can kiss elysium before he finally moves... to pull out... this is so uncomfortable and yet it feels like he is cutting his arm off emotionally.

however they need to clean up so badly. they are so disgusting right now. ]

Later...

[ incredible how something that grants him so much relief simultaneously devastates him. they have reached a new level of desperate with this one, elysium immediately pulling thorns in another kiss just to chase the loss away.

is there even a nearby river. they are going to be filthy for so long to reflect their mental states. ]

You'll have to give me more than that for me to survive until later…

[ and yet, he hasn't tried standing yet so it's equally possible for him to perish anyway. ]

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