threads born from shitposts

[preowned]

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[preowned]

And we will! But I need to rethink how to win over someone's heart...

[ HE'S CHANGING HIS GAME PLAN

sort of ]

[uncleanse]

[ he tilts his head a little... what does that even mean... ]

Do you truly think I'm that difficult to wear down?

[preowned]

There has to be some suspense in this.

[ it's said so seriously ]

[uncleanse]

Ah. You have a point. It wouldn't nearly be as exciting for our master if everything were to go over without any trouble.

So? Any ideas?

[preowned]

Hm... from what it sounded like, there's usually some sort of misunderstanding that could easily be figured out if we actually communicated instead of assuming something, right?

[uncleanse]

[ thinks about how both of them are exactly the type to be misunderstood and just laugh about it

hm ]

[preowned]

Let's think of something else.

[uncleanse]

Hm...

Isn't the point of fake dating to lead others to assume we're romantically involved? So far, we've only had each other to judge...

[preowned]

Should we go out then?

[ he means like. outside. ]

Some of the others should be back now.

[uncleanse]

I think we should.

[ case in point: nikkari agrees without even thinking of asking tsuru to clarify. ]

After you, Tsurumaru-san.

[preowned]

[ he'll stand up!



and then pause and hold his hand out to nikkari to help him up. it would be a very suave move if his expression didn't make it obvious he thinks it's funny ]

[uncleanse]

[ he, too, waits a beat before smiling and taking tsuru's hand. ]

Hahaha. Charming as ever.

[preowned]

Let's go find out who's around.

[ he'd prefer to deal with another sword first before running into their saniwa, so hopefully they can manage that. ]

[enshrinement]

[ fuck you i made the call myself

and so the dummy duo ~conveniently~ runs into everyone's favorite divine healing sword, who gives them a courteous nod. for a sword who's just come back from dispatch, he seems fairly unruffled, putting him in a pretty agreeable mood. ]

Ah. Tsurumaru-san, Nikkari-san—

[ he's about to keep going about making pleasantries as one does, but is momentarily given pause by the way the other two swords are holding hands.

but then he decides to Move On specifically because it's these two. ]

. . . Are the both of you, ah, headed anywhere in particular?

[uncleanse]

[ you let this thread happen you gotta accept all the consequences

ah, perfect. nikkari, unflappable as ever, flashes a sly grin at ishi, tone playful in a way that should tell the oodachi that something is Definitely up. ]

Not at all, Ishikirimaru-san, unless you find anything amiss with us simply taking a stroll on the citadel grounds.

[ here he looks over to tsuru, hesitating briefly... before lightly squeezing his "partner"'s hand. ]

[preowned]

[ i hate this

but tsuru blinks, but the short moment of pause is quickly replaced by a large smile and a laugh. ]

He said he's going to surprise me.

[ it's said in a fond tone, one that can be easily thought to be fondness directed at nikkari. it's like, actually for a surprise, but ishi doesn't need? to know that? ]

[enshrinement]

Is that so...

[ he casts a dubious look at the two before shaking his head with a weak laugh. he really does not want to ask, at least not right now. he suddenly feels very fatigued from the mission, actually, let him rest? ]

Well, it would be quite rude of me to keep the two of you, wouldn't it? I do hope you enjoy yourselves, whatever the... "surprise" may be. Just, ah... try not to cause any trouble.

[ it's definitely directed at both of them. ]

[uncleanse]

Haha... do we really seem like troublemakers to you? A holy sword shouldn't be making such rude accusations, you know.

[ there's a glint in nikkari's visible eye that probably makes ishi want to wholeheartedly agree with that quip, but he bites his tongue; in response, nikkari laughs teasingly before turning back to tsuru. ]

Let's not trouble Ishikirimaru-san any longer... Tsuru-san.

[ he flashes an amused grin at tsuru. does using a nickname so suddenly count as a tiny surprise? ]

[preowned]

[ you should have kept the shitpost you coward

but tsurumaru blinks, and then smiles. he waves happily at ishi. ]

We have a very busy day ahead of us. We'll see you later then?

[ implying that whenever later is, the two of them will still be together [

[uncleanse]

[ it'll always be in your heart

ishi simply nods and continues on his way to do whatever the fuck he was doing do you think i put that much thought into this gag. nikkari waits until he's far out of sight and earshot, then brings his free hand up to cover his mouth and hide his mischievous expression. it's more out of habit than anything, though, because he knows tsuru Understands. ]

Of all people... poor Ishikirimaru-san.

[preowned]

[ tsuru, who is unaware that they're gay just

well he just rolls with that comment. ]

Ah, well, it's good to get someone you speak to often right away. It'll make it more believable when other people hear.

[uncleanse]

[ god bless but also fuck you tsuru ]

It isn't as if he's the type to gossip or spread rumors, though... that would certainly add an element of drama to the scenario we're crafting.

[preowned]

I would say Kara-bou would be good for the same reason, but he'd walk away before we even say anything...

[ hm

ah well. ]

We'll see how it goes!

[uncleanse]

Hm... the Toushirou brothers would certainly believe us and tell everybody, Midare-kun especially, but that seems a little unfair. Maybe even a little cruel?

[preowned]

Surprises are just like that sometimes.

[ tsuru is too used to playing practical jokes on people ]