[ the dream of a quiet retirement in a lakeside cabin only lasted for so long. tragic.
but he clings to thorns, just as desperate, maybe more. before, he could tell himself that all that mattered was thorns being happy somewhere out there. now, he can't imagine a world where he gives him up to anyone, not even another version of himself. he tells himself it's a kindness for the cycle to end, that there is no other path forward for them than this. ]
… You're mine, and I'm yours. I love you too. I'm not giving you up for anyone or anything.
[ giving up their child for adoption is better than many other alternatives. much like how docybara reminds them of their humanity, he's also a reminder of all the other ways they've failed.
it's a good thing they never made it to victoria. ]
[ at the very least, their journey is fairly uneventful now... it appears that they got far enough away that sending people after them isn't entirely worth it anymore. or maybe lungmen has taken care of things? or...
well. it's best not to wonder too hard about it.
thorns does spend more time than usual glancing in elysium's direction. ]
then he looks perfectly fine and feels perfectly fine but thorns being thorns can probably sense something off anyway. mysterious. elysium just tilts his head at him and smiles. ]
well, he can't tell why he has a bad feeling about this, but he can still keep an eye on elysium anyway. this is what happens when he looks away from his boy for ten seconds to tend to his other boy (docybara). ]
[ he probably shouldn't because they should at actually keep going. but what's the point if they can't appreciate moments like these? just the two of them (and their child who is trying to find the tastiest section of grass) under the sky.
he presses his mouth against the skin underneath elysium's ear. ]
[ for going through a sequence that had them on their toes, elysium's entire demeanour has mellowed out, sucking in a breath as thorns presses against his skin. they're really doing this in the periphery of their child, it's fine. he's just happy to have them in ear and eye shot… ]
[ blood, dirt, ash, soot. they're probably covered in all of it, with little more than a damp cloth to wipe themselves down between their last altercation and now, if that. he hesitates when thorns leans in, reluctant at first to let him get that close to sullied feathers, but then he exhales and relaxes into the gesture, surrendering into it anyway. ]
[ or maybe he will, who even knows how long the distraction will last them. but thorns kisses the side of elysium's face, making sure that he gets any spots that are especially dirty to show that he doesn't really care about any of that. ]
Doesn't that go without saying? Every part of you is mine, Elysium.
[ things he would have never said in the first few timelines but now says so completely seriously and without embarrassment.
his hand falls downward until it falls to elysium's waistband. he starts unbuttoning his pants slowly, yet there's still a sense of urgency with his his fingers stumble with the task. ]
[ by now, they've said and done so many things that feel unrecognisable it justifies them shedding their names entirely. he isn't patient enough to wait for thorns to peel away every last layer; instead, he pulls him back into another kiss, teeth catching his lip as his hips move to meet thorns' rhythm.
it doesn't make it easier. if anything, it only exposes how restless he's become, breath already turning heavy. ]
[ there's a brief pause when thorns' hand might brush against a blister pack—elysium only registering it once fingers slip into his pocket. without calling attention to it, and as subtly as he can manage, his hand redirects, finding where he actually keeps the lube and presses it into thorns' palm instead.
it is, of course, pure coincidence that he pushes in with a firmer kiss at the same time. best not to read into it. ]
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but he clings to thorns, just as desperate, maybe more. before, he could tell himself that all that mattered was thorns being happy somewhere out there. now, he can't imagine a world where he gives him up to anyone, not even another version of himself. he tells himself it's a kindness for the cycle to end, that there is no other path forward for them than this. ]
… You're mine, and I'm yours. I love you too. I'm not giving you up for anyone or anything.
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[ docybara headbutts his lead, and thorns takes a moment to truly appreciate what he has right now. he might never have so much again.
... ]
We do need to get moving though.
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it's a good thing they never made it to victoria. ]
… Let's go.
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well. it's best not to wonder too hard about it.
thorns does spend more time than usual glancing in elysium's direction. ]
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he wonders how far it goes.
there's no point in thinking about others when they can barely keep themselves intact. ]
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they can travel for a long while, before thorns decides they need to take a break for elysium, whether he asks for one or not.
he'll go over to check his temperature and see if he's breathing okay. ]
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everything is entirely dependent on whether thorns catches him sneaking painkillers or not. i rolled a twelve. ]
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i rolled an 11, so no, notice. ]
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then he looks perfectly fine and feels perfectly fine but thorns being thorns can probably sense something off anyway. mysterious. elysium just tilts his head at him and smiles. ]
We can keep going after ten.
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well, he can't tell why he has a bad feeling about this, but he can still keep an eye on elysium anyway. this is what happens when he looks away from his boy for ten seconds to tend to his other boy (docybara). ]
Mm. Drink some water.
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but he will obediently take a swig of water before dragging thorns onto his lap. ]
Can we recharge for real now?
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but thorns gets comfortable anyway, trying to get comfortable without putting too much weight onto him. ]
In just ten minutes?
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[ he smooches thorns, arms slipping around him and drawing him in until thorns is leaning against him. ]
Convince me.
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he presses his mouth against the skin underneath elysium's ear. ]
Mm?
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How long do you need to be satisfied?
[ a hand slips under thorns' clothing. ]
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[ sometimes, this is the only outcome after a near death experience, even if it is a belated one.
he presses against his head, before shifting so he can lick at one of elysium's feathers. ]
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[ blood, dirt, ash, soot. they're probably covered in all of it, with little more than a damp cloth to wipe themselves down between their last altercation and now, if that. he hesitates when thorns leans in, reluctant at first to let him get that close to sullied feathers, but then he exhales and relaxes into the gesture, surrendering into it anyway. ]
Don't force yourself.
[ as he licks one of thorns' cuts. ]
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Force myself? Elysium, I always want you.
[ he is just normal enough to know there is a time and place for everything.
...
well, usually, anyway. ]
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[ it's fine if their time is short. at the very least, they can say they truly experienced each other. he buries his face back into thorns. ]
There's a spot I want to go to after this. But let's take our time, yeah? I want to feel you, every bit of you, to remind myself of what we have.
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[ or maybe he will, who even knows how long the distraction will last them. but thorns kisses the side of elysium's face, making sure that he gets any spots that are especially dirty to show that he doesn't really care about any of that. ]
You're beautiful, you know.
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[ restraint? don't know her. ]
Not even death's allowed to do us part.
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[ things he would have never said in the first few timelines but now says so completely seriously and without embarrassment.
his hand falls downward until it falls to elysium's waistband. he starts unbuttoning his pants slowly, yet there's still a sense of urgency with his his fingers stumble with the task. ]
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[ by now, they've said and done so many things that feel unrecognisable it justifies them shedding their names entirely. he isn't patient enough to wait for thorns to peel away every last layer; instead, he pulls him back into another kiss, teeth catching his lip as his hips move to meet thorns' rhythm.
it doesn't make it easier. if anything, it only exposes how restless he's become, breath already turning heavy. ]
Faster. Or I'll forget.
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[ it's more of an observation than anything.
his other hand starts to rustle through elysium's pockets, also with a sense of impatience despite what he just said. where is he hiding the lube... ]
But I also love that about you.
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[ there's a brief pause when thorns' hand might brush against a blister pack—elysium only registering it once fingers slip into his pocket. without calling attention to it, and as subtly as he can manage, his hand redirects, finding where he actually keeps the lube and presses it into thorns' palm instead.
it is, of course, pure coincidence that he pushes in with a firmer kiss at the same time. best not to read into it. ]
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